To All the Boys I've Loved, Sort of, Kind of - A Poem About Love - Jasmine Tay

Lover number one,

Pure, true and raw.

Young and confused we were, unable to become something other than two lovers blind and out of our elements. With mirrored pasts, struggles parallel. Without the guidance of a lovers past, our hopes and dreams for each other fell.

I pray you learned why I bled resistance despite your consistency.

Forever and always we said, and forever and always you will be in my heart, even if you aren't mine.

Lover number two,

Different, rebound, feelings of recklessness.

I dared to try something new.

You thought you smelled desperation, you thought you knocked upon the door of a lost soul.

But together my head saw through your goals.

Lover number three,

sunny, temporary and fine

For a minute, stole my heart made it yours instead of mine.

Made me mistake lust for a quick and easy, love.

You were worse than I was, although you tried to convince yourself otherwise.

No good love ever comes from people who fight on the first night.

Too bad your girl back home never knew a thing.

Lovers number four and five,

You helped the time go by.

Always in a rush, I go, with my hesitation, aversion to loneliness.

You filled in a gap of an empty soul, made lonely times less lonely.

Lover number six,

We think the same way. Some people may say, we're twins in that way.

We saw each other's drive.

We felt the need for a mutual high.

Not drugs, nor drinks, like you all would assume.

It's our dreams, brains we want to inhale.

Your love ten thousand feet wide, but my dreams bigger than my love for you, made me run away.

Didn't want to be a fool.

Couldn't make the same mistake again, time a concept I only understand as I get older, our clock buzzed, she ran out of time.

Lover number never,

You hide, you quiver, sometimes you hurt more than one, the rejection something my ego cannot handle.

Every time we got close you showed me the same resistance I showed to lover one to six.

You tell me I'm dramatic and delusional.

But, nothing you say will make me believe your never-ending denial.

The way you look at me, speak to me, says otherwise.

Next time, keep your feelings separate from your actions.

Lover of tomorrow,

I have some requests.

Please make me laugh, love and always try your best.

Understand I am loving, but will sometimes lose my patience.

Understand I am a dreamer, and I often grow restless.

Remind me that I'm capable, beautiful and strong, for sometimes I fail to trust the beat of my own drum.

If I am wrong, don't neglect me, and speak to me calmly.

Become lover forever.

Become the last of my lovers.

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