Dear Potential Love

Insanity. 

Chest pumping blood at one thousand beats per second. 

You are majestic. 

Inspired and impressed by the resplendence of your presence I am frozen.

For in a world in which we are all so regular, irrelevant, you leave me incredulous.

Without a sound, I hear your thoughts, but all the while time you refuse to give me much.

You're mystery enticing, as I attempt to make sense of what is about you that has me so distressed.

As I close my eyes and dream of you, cold water droplets bring me to reality.

Though I see myself in who you are. 

Though I dream of loving all your scars, I must not let go of what I have left.

What I have left, is few and far none, for underneath my pride is love. 

Newfound Love

If I tell you that I love you, will you leave me in the dust?

If I tell you that I love you, will your desire turn to rust?

If I tell you that I love you, will your heart shine black and bleak?

If I tell you that I love you, will you turn around and leave?

If I tell you that I love you, will you leave me here to weep?

If I tell you that I love you, will you lie with me while we sleep?

If I tell you that I love you, will you never leave my side?

If I tell you that I love you, will you promise to be mine?

For I love you, in the morning when I wake, at night when I sleep.

For I miss you, when I’m with you and when you are with me.

For I crave your touch and laughter, you keep me at bay.

I will tell you that I love you, each and everyday.

For if I tell you that I love you, I know you are here to stay.

Forgotten Love

I write the best when I'm emotional. 

Truth is I know what love is and I've seen it before in multiple forms. I've felt pain at full force, I've seen love rear an ugly course. 

As I attempt to put my heart back together again, I find myself forcing interest into obsession. 

I find myself trying to find what I had in you, in all other partners. 

I do not want you back. My god I just want a feeling. I just want to feel drunk on conversation, high on teenage tension. 

Everyone I meet is lifeless. Fake goals, fake ambition, fake fears. 

It seems I try to create a false connection, with everyone passes me by. Even strangers, when they look me in the eye. 

Young and attractive it has never been a struggle for me to find someone. Quick conversations, and intimate situations are commonplace. 

But knowing someone is a struggle for I am so much more complex than most people expect. 

For I am not simple, I am everything under the sun. 

I wake up every morning plotting how to be someone, greater, bigger, stronger. 

Despite all the accomplishments, and confidence at the end of the day I still long for that feeling. 

That feeling I once had that is forever disappearing. 

I wish there love in every face that I met, but I refuse to love someone in discontent. 

I refuse to love without reciprocity. I refuse to love because of the way you taught me. I refuse to love because I love me.